There’s a Lady Inside My Computer

There’s a lady inside my computer. Apparently she works in security.

About three or four times a day I hear her say through my computer speakers “Avast data base has been updated.” She doesn’t say it too loudly as I seldom have the volume turned up very loud.

Sometimes I hear her voice in the middle of the night. Is the lady inside my computer trying to wake me up?

Sometimes I wonder what she looks like. She has a great voice so I’m suspecting she probably looks pretty good too.

Friends have told me I can always remove her voice from my computer but I don’t think I will.

Sometime I wonder if I should get a life.

(Photo from inside my computer)

Are American Idol Winners Really Losers?

“American Idol” is back on the air for another season. I watched a few clips from it yesterday morning and immediately felt bored. Maybe that will change as the season moves forward..

I started thinking about the winners over the years and could only recall a few that went on to have success. Kelly Clarkson found it and so did Carrie Underwood—but what about the rest of them?

Whatever became of Taylor Hicks? When was the last time you bought an album by David Cook or could even find one? Have you ever gone to a Lee Dewyze concert? Do you really think last year’s winner, Scotty—and I’ve already forgotten his last name—will have any hit records?

Seems to me most of these winners usually turn out to be losers. Many voters get it wrong most of the time.

Your thoughts?

(Image from American Idol)

Socks

When a person wakes up in the morning, they have to be thinking about something and this morning I started thinking about socks.

I’m in favor of them as they keep my feet warm. In fact I like socks so much, I wear them to bed. I guess I won’t get many dates by admitting that.

Some of my socks have holes. When putting on those socks, I try to arrange the holes to where they won’t come through my toes.

When at the airport, I try to wear good socks because I don’t want security people to see holes when I have to take my shoes off.

I don’t like wild colored socks but the older I get, the more I’m open to buying some. I want to be flexible.

I wear black socks and they don’t have to be an exact match. As long as both are black, that’s good enough for me.

I used to wear white socks but I don’t anymore. After a few washings, they turn gray and I don’t like gray socks. I’ve got several pair of white socks I haven’t even worn. Sometimes I think about cutting them up and using them as dust rags.

I have a pair of wool socks that I bought the last time I was in Maine. Actually I only have one of them as I can’t find its mate. This missing sock is on my mind much too often.

It’s no fun to get caught in a thunderstorm and having to remove wet socks from your feet.

I’m done thinking about socks. Now I’ll think of something else.

(Photo found on socks.com. No, not really, making it up)

Mitt, Newt and “Mad Men”

So Newt has won the South Carolina primary. I never would have guessed this but it’s not like I gave it a lot of though. Now that he’s won, I find it a bit amusing.

What this means for Mitt I don’t know but if it doesn’t work out for him, if the voters see him for what he really is, he can always join the cast of “Mad Men.” I mean he has the look with that slicked back black hair. He’ll have to learn to drink a lot and smoke cigarettes but I suspect he’s a quick learner.

As far as the womanizing on “Mad Men,” Newt would be a better fit. It might be fun to explore an open marriage from a 1960’s point of view.

Maybe I’m being unfair to Newt and Mitt, but as you have probably already guessed, I don’t care.

(Photo found somewhere on the internet)

A Knock on the Door

A few Sunday evenings ago, there was a knock on the door. I should say a knock on the door to my apartment building. I live on the first floor and I can always hear when someone wants that door unlocked to get in.

I pretended not to hear it. In my time living in the building located in Covington, there have been a lot of knocks on that door. I’m not the damn doorman and if they don’t have a key to get in, they probably shouldn’t be there anyway.

But the knocking wasn’t going away. Feeling annoyed, I unlocked my apartment door and went and opened the door to the apartment building.

Standing there was a young woman, probably in her 20’s. She was slim, had pulled back blonde hair and was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but my phone is dead and I need to plug it in and make a call.”

“You want to charge it?” I asked.

“I just need to plug it in to make a call,” she repeated.

I looked at her for a few seconds not knowing what to do.

“I’m your neighbor,” she said. “I just live down the street.”

“OK,” I said. “Come on in.”

She entered my apartment and went looking for an electrical outlet. I told her there was one close to the kitchen table.

“You live alone?” she asked as she plugged her phone in. I said yes, then immediately thought I shouldn’t have said that. What if her real intent was to rob me?

“I’m texting my boyfriend,” she said.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just call him?” I asked.’

“Yeah, probably,” she said.

She kept playing with her phone. What she was doing with it I’m not sure, but I started to feel even more uncomfortable.

Across from the kitchen table is my writing desk. I was sitting there and the woman noticed my cane leaning up against the desk.

“You feeling OK, sugar?” she asked. Now she was sizing me up to see if I was defenseless.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Where’s your boyfriend at?”

“At the bar.”

“Which bar?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “He’s probably drunk, that’s why he’s not answering the phone.”

She punched in some more numbers on her phone and finally left a message for her boyfriend to call her which he couldn’t really do because her phone wasn’t charged. She didn’t seem to figure this out and I wasn’t about to help her.

“I hope he calls you soon,” I said, getting up from my chair and leading her to the door.

“Thanks for your help, sugar,” she said. As she left, I went back inside my apartment, locked the door and put the chain on. Maybe this exchange with the woman took a total of 10 minutes, but it felt more like an hour.

The reality is I don’t think this woman meant me any harm and the thought of robbing me never crossed her mind. She just needed a little help but why couldn’t she use the electrical outlet in her own home? That’s a question I should have asked.

They say your original thought is always the best. I think the next time I hear a knock on that apartment building door; I’m going to pretend like I’m not home. I’m not proud to say that, but that’s the kind of person I’m turning into.

(Photo from photobucket.com)

Catsup Needs to be Catsup

I’ll be heading to the grocery store this weekend and I’m going to need some catsup, but I don’t think I’ll find what Chip and Robbie get.

Robbie likes pizza flavored catsup and Chip enjoys hictory catsup. I can’t seem to find these varieties anywhere. Maybe catsup just needs to be catsup.

As far as the video goes, my only question is where the hell is Ernie?

(YouTube video)

Voices in the Hall

Cheri and her boyfriend live on the third floor in my building. I don’t know them very well, but they seem nice enough.

A couple days ago, Cheri was babysitting a two or three year old. All of this is a guess. I just know that a little kid was in the building.

I live on the first floor, but I could still hear the kid who was screaming.

“Can we pick up Bobby? Can we pick up Bobby?”

“Hey, there’s no yelling in the hallway,” Cheri yelled. “Be quiet!”

I heard them coming down the stairs.

“Stop dragging your feet!” Cheri screamed at the little kid. When they got outside, Cheri slammed the door to the building shut.

I guess with Cheri it’s do as I say and not as I do.

(Photo from apartmentliving.com)

What’s Up with the Weather?

It’s never a good sign when you have a discussion about the weather, because it means you can’t think of anything else to talk about, but you have to admit this has been a strange winter. That subject keeps coming up with friends and family.

We have those cold temperatures some days, then it warms up into the 50’s or even the 69’s. Snow? We’ve had very little of it so far this winter, only a few dustings, and January is already half over.

Will the Cincinnati area get lucky this winter has far as the weather? That’s my question of the week. You can take your time on commenting. We’ll not going to do another post until Friday.

(Image found on Google)

Just a Couple Thoughts on Smoking

Most of the time, I get a lot of complaints when I write about smoking. I’m a smoker and I like writing about it, so I guess I also must like complaints too.

But I’m trying to cut back. I smoke Pall Mall Red 100’s. I’ve hear it said that real men don’t smoke those long cigarettes but I consider myself a real man even if I’m just pretending these days.

Here’s how I’m cutting back. Those smokes are long, almost two cigarettes. I smoke half of one, and then put it out. After putting it out, I blow on the filter a few times. A friend taught me this. Blowing on the filter will make the cigarette taste fresh when I finish it. Yes, this even applies to Pall Mall.

I guess what I’m saying here is a pack of 20 cigarettes now turns into 40 for me. I’m cutting back on smoking and also saving money. Pretty exciting don’t you think?

While smoking cheap cigarettes is fine with me, I’ve discovered that cheap lighters don’t pay off. They don’t last very long and sometimes don’t work at all. I’ll go ahead and buy the Bic.

I’m done. Let the complaining begin.

(Disgusting image found on Google)

I’ll Always Remember the Downtown Cincinnati Arby’s

I haven’t walked past the downtown Cincinnati Arby’s for a long time but apparently it’s gone. A friend emailed me this information yesterday and I just confirmed it by doing a Google search.

You mean downtown Cincinnati can’t even keep an Arby’s open? Sorry, don’t mean to be all negative here.

I’ll always have memories of this Arby’s. Yes, I’m sharing again.

I’ll remember that smell when I would walk in. I guess it could have been some of the customers but I suspect it was the food being served.

I’ll remember those locked bathroom doors and customers almost peeing their pants because of it.

I’ll remember the overflowing trash cans and empty napkin dispensers.

I’ll remember being approached for money by want to be customers who didn’t have any.

I’ll remember that employee who was always outside smoking. I’ll remember how most of the employees could care less about their jobs or customers.

Yes, it’s a shame. We can only hope that a KFC moves into that location.

(Photo from the Cincinnati Enquirer)