Don’t take me Out to The Ballgame

Opening day is just around the corner here in Cincinnati. Some years back, I followed The Reds religiously going to at least 20 games a year.

It was a blast hanging out at Riverfront Stadium, eating a few hot dogs and drinking too many beers. Hell, I even enjoyed doubleheaders.

Things have a way of changing.

There are a few reasons why I’ve lost some interest – losing season after losing season being the main one – but I also have no desire to give my money to the Great American Ballpark and then get punished for being a smoker.

I totally understand not being able to smoke in my seat – no problem with that at all. Back when the ballpark first opened, there was a large open area where smokers could go and light up. There were plenty of “butt” containers around and we were treated with respect. The Great American Ballpark understood our choice to be smokers.

That’s all changed over the past few years. Now, if you want to light up a cigarette, you have to leave the ballpark, smoke, then pay again to get back in.

That’s not respect, that’s robbery.

I don’t know if this is how it is in other ballparks in other cities. I don’t live in other cities. I live here and this policy is bullshit.

Being a smoker doesn’t make me a second class citizen. If that’s the way Great American Ballpark views me, I’ll stay away.

Don’t take me out to the ballgame. I won’t be buying expensive hot dogs and beers. I’ll be staying home, saving my money and listening to The Reds on the radio.

(Photo from Google)

Getting to Know Katie Laur

Actually I already know Katie. When she writes for CityBeat, I’m usually her editor and she always has an interesting way of telling a story.

She’s a wonderful story teller, her WNKU Sunday night radio show has a large audience but, of course, she’s known mostly for the great Bluegrass Music she and her band has performed over the years.

Take a few minutes and get to know a little bit more about Katie. The video down below tells of her history and you’ll get to hear some great music along the way.

(Photo from WNKU)

That Was the Week That Was – In Blogs

Let’s leave cloudy Cincinnati for a little bit and do a little traveling. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Let’s go to Washington D.C. and find out what Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi thinks about congress woman Michelle Bachman. Crooks and Liars give us the details. As for me, I think she’s kind of pretty, but then she has to open her mouth.

Staying in Washington, what should we do for brunch? Interested in having some fried chicken with waffles? Sounds gross? Wonkabout doesn’t think so.

And now we’ll take the train up to New York. That Bill O’Reilly: he’s quite a kidder but UPS isn’t happy about this blogger-stalking controversy and is pulling advertising from Mr. Bill’s show. Think Progress fills us in.

So this bobcat walks into a bar. No, seriously. In Arizona, a bobcat does walk into a bar. The Huffington Post gives us the story. No word as to what kind of cocktail the bobcat ordered.

Let’s go to L.A. and Real Time with Bill Maher. It was another great show Friday night but things really got heated on “Over Time” which comes on Bill’s HBO web site after the hour is done on television. Christopher Hitchens and Mos Def had a bit of a shouting match. Suggestion to Mos Def: when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Our little trip is over. Let’s return to Cincinnati where Rick Hines, USNationNet publisher will be returning next week from Florida.

Hey Rick, after you get done with The Cincinnati Nation work, let’s you and me rent a truck and pick up all those empty Pulse boxes still on the downtown sidewalks. Maybe we could sell them and get a little drinking money. I mean, dear old Roger apparently doesn’t want them.

Oh, sorry, Roger. I’m beating a dead horse again.

(Photo of Michelle Bachman and friend from www.roadkillbill.com)

Excessive Nose Blowing can lead to an Artery Dissection in the Brain

Good wishes and get well soon to Phil Heimlich. The former Hamilton County Commissioner had a bit of a health scare recently.

While working out in his gym, Mr. Heimlich got a really bad headache which tuned out to be an artery dissection in the brain.

I can’t help but wonder if excessive nose blowing can cause this to happen. I’m no doctor – I’m just thinking out loud. We have a video of Mr. Heimlich blowing his nose down below.

Stay healthy, Mr. Heimlich. I’m Federal Expressing a box of tissue to you this morning.

(Photo of Mr. Heimlich found on Mr. Google)

Question of the Week

In this week’s CityBeat, I wrote the Living Out Loud column called “Hump Day.”

In the column, I write about friends who are able to hold on during this bad economy by doing jobs they maybe wouldn’t be doing if things were better. I also write about people who beg for money on the street. I wonder why some can pull themselves up during this difficult time while others can’t or won’t.

But let me keep the question simple. . .

When someone you encounter on the sidewalk asks for money, do you have a problem saying no or is it easy for you to just walk away?

(Photo from www.sptimes.com)

Cincinnati Fire Department Willing to Put out Your Fire if You’re Willing to Get Their Bed Bugs

Let’s say your house or apartment is on fire. What do you do? What one would normally do is call the fire department.

Here in Cincinnati, not only do you get quick service from our brave firefighters, but you also get a little something extra.

In exchange for putting out your fire, later on you may have to be putting out something else – namely your bed, chairs, and sofa – out on the sidewalk.

Yes, it’s true. Even the Cincinnati Fire Department has bed bugs. The video down below explains some of the problem.

Why do I feel all itchy?

(Photo from www.zazzle.com. Is that a bed bug I see crawling on that shirt?)

Helping another Human Being

I’m usually downtown on most days and one day last week, there I was on Vine Street heading toward Fountain Square.

Walking up the sidewalk, in the distance, I could see an older woman struggling and walking with a cane. She fell down.

In amazement, I watched as people simply tried to get around her.

I picked up my pace in an effort to get to her and to help her out. Thankfully, two young women beat me to it.

The women helped the older woman to her feet and stood with her for a little bit to make sure she was alright. She was.

The two young women took the time to help out another human being. It only took them maybe a minute to show some kindness. Others couldn’t be bothered.

(Photo from Google)

A Stoned Friday Afternoon

Several months ago in CityBeat’s Living Out Loud column, I gave my opinion on Drug Choices. Basically my feeling is take any kind of drug you want – pills, coffee, mushrooms, beer – whatever. It should all be legal. That most certainly also includes pot.

In the column, I state my last experience with weed and how afterwards, I had no desire to do it again.

That changed this past Friday afternoon.

I met up with some friends at the Washington Platform on Elm Street downtown. I can’t remember how the subject turned to pot, but it did.

Tuned out one my friends, who lives downtown, had some and we were in walking distance to his or her apartment. I kind of decided – what the hell?

I took it easy, only took three or four hits off the pipe. Within minutes, my mind felt a little cloudy but that was about it. The high didn’t hit me until about 20 minutes later while taking the bus back to Westwood.

It was a pretty intense bus ride. I had on my sunglasses so the passengers didn’t know I was listening in on their conservations or their cell phone calls.

One guy on his cell phone was telling his “lady” (that’s what he kept calling her) that he would be home in five minutes. And the point of that call was what?

I’m guessing this was the young girl’s grandmother. She was trying to get the girl interested in a TV Guide crossword puzzle book. It was interesting to watch the girl fake an interest, but she clearly wasn’t.

One of the guys in front was rocking back and forth in his seat. Why, I have no idea. After watching him to it 77 times, I stopped counting.

There was a man talking in a low voice on his cell phone. I don’t know who he was talking to, but I convinced myself he was talking to his drug dealer. In my mind, I played a game as to what kind of drug the guy was “purchasing.”

I could report more, but I think you get the idea. It was an amusing bus ride – and the shortest one I have ever taken back to my place in Westwood.

So am I a pot smoker again? I’m not going to say, just in case a Cincinnati cop is reading this. For the small amount that I smoked, if  they found it  on me, I could go to jail.

But it was a good experience. And, of course, it should be legal.

(Photo of another passenger on the bus found at photobucket)

That Was the Week That Was – In Blogs

I know, believe me, I know – you’re sick of hearing about how our economy sucks and all this AIG bullshit, but that’s what was in the news last week and all over the wonderful world of blogs and the internet.

There’s so much AIG stuff in the news that The Huffington Post has given this outfit its own “Big News Page.” Now you can be pissed at these “suits” 24/7. Doesn’t that sound healthy?

Maureen Dowd at The New York Times had some interesting comments on this AIG situation last week. She said Obama even needs a teleprompter to get mad.

Some don’t need a teleprompter to show their anger. According to Wonkette, last week angry mobs were taking bus tours of AIG executives’ houses. Think any eggs were thrown?

AIG, bailouts, recession, no money, executive greed – I know, not good to be thinking of this on a Sunday morning.

But let me continue. . .

Andrew Sullivan, over at The Daily Dish, apparently doesn’t think this mess is going away anytime soon. On his blog, he’s started a new feature: “The View from your Recession.”

I don’t think AIG is one of them, but did you know 13 bailed out banks failed to pay $220 in taxes? Last week, Majikthise filled us in.

But none of this stuff hurts us here in good old Cincinnati does it? Well, yeah – kind of. Last week, The Cincinnati Nation reported that Fifth Third Bank, the only bank you’ll ever need, was giving away hundreds of thousands of dollars in a damn contest while seeking billions in government bailout money.

I know, I know – I’ll stop. You can have your coffee now – that is if you can afford it.

(Photo found on WordPress)

Lowering the Price on Death

Most people aren’t dying to get in, but when you walk by 722 Main St. downtown and look in the showroom window, you’re going to see something you don’t see everyday: Caskets for sale.

“Initially, I was going to have a wall here in front and have a showroom in the back where people could see them,” says Eric Lusain, owner of Main St. Casket and also owner of the building his store occupies, “but someone said no – you need to put them in the window so when people see them, they’ll remember.”

Lusain also wants you to remember the price of his discounted caskets. You can save up to 80% over most funeral homes.

“Nowadays with things being as tight as they are, people are thinking twice,” he says.

Lusain discovered the high cost of dying last year in Indianapolis.

“Back in September, we had a loved one who passed. We were responsible for the burial and we had to pay out-of-pocket,” Lusain says. “I never buried anybody before and we got sticker shock. I had no idea that it would cost that much.”

“I tried to figure out ways to shave the price down,” Lusain continues. “I remembered some movie where an old lady in Costco has a casket in her cart and she’s pushing it through the store. They made a funny out of it, but it stuck in my head.”

Lusain went online, researched Costco and saw they sold caskets, but they had to be shipped. Lusain didn’t want to pay money without seeing the casket first.

He did a Google search and found a casket store in Indianapolis which had the same casket he wanted for his loved one, but was $1,300 cheaper than the funeral home.

Lusain started researching the Federal Trade Commission laws on the selling of caskets which lead to him opening up a similar store in Cincinnati.

“The FTC had to start regulating the business because funeral homes were price-fixing, them along with the casket companies,” Lusain says. “People can buy their caskets somewhere else, the register book somewhere else and also the flowers. People think you have to get them from the funeral home. You don’t.”

This FTC regulation as became known as the “Funeral Rule.” Mandated in 1982, most funeral directors don’t educate their customers on the subject, but some consumers are catching on.

“I’ve had one funeral home call me and say why are you taking money out of my pocket?” Lusain says.

His casket store has only been open for a few weeks. Lusain had to wait for one of his tenants, a clothing retailer, to move out before opening up.

“Before the store opened, we were warehousing them (caskets) in the back,” he says. “People would pull up in the alley and take a look at them. We were selling them back there. It just didn’t feel right.”

Besides his store, Lusain also sells caskets at his website, MainStCaskets.com. He says business is good. His most popular mover is the Neapolitan Blue.

The Neapolitan has a navy blue finish with light blue velvet interior in a French fold design. This casket, which also features an eternal rest adjustable bed, goes for $1,099 on Main Street. At a funeral home, you’ll pay at least $3,050.

Another fast moving casket is the Going Home Blue with a light blue crepe interior. At a funeral home, you’ll pay on average $2,635. On Main Street downtown, it’s yours for $999. Most of Lusain’s caskets are imported.

“What a lot of people don’t know is some big casket companies that are domestic are now made in Mexico,” he says. “There’s not a lot that’s truly domestic these days.”

Most of Lusain’s caskets start at $999 which includes delivery to the funeral home. If you need to go cheaper, he’s also got $500 boxes too – or even less.

“Funeral homes carry them,” Lusain says, “but they won’t tell you unless you ask.”

Besides caskets for humans, Lusain also offers pet caskets that start at $199. If cremation is your thing, you can pick up an urn for $135. You also don’t have to have a dead body to get yourself a casket.

“Its merchandise,” Lusain states. “It’s not against the law.”

“A guy had cash, his own truck, came in, got the casket and we’re wheeling it down the street, sticking it in his truck,” Lusain says. “The guy actually had a 1961 hearse he was restoring and he wanted to put a casket in it.”

This is the exception rather than the rule. Most of Lusain’s customers have lost loved ones but he says he doesn’t see a lot of tears in his store.

“When families come in here, they’re not grieving,” he says. “They’re excited. They’re saving at least two grand.”

(Photos by Larry Gross)