That Was the Week That Was—In Blogs

♣   Remember the great Carly Simon song “You’re So Vain?” Well last week, we finally learned who the hell she was talking about. Was it Cat Stevens? Warren Beatty? Gregory Flannery? If you really want to know, The Huffington Post spills the beans.

♣   The weather here in Cincy wasn’t all that horrible last week and looking ahead at The Cincinnati Nation’s weather report, it looks like we’re in for a mostly cloudy week with temperatures above freezing. The good news here? February is done. This is March weather which, I hope, can only get better. Yeah, knock wood.

♣   Gawker provided us with a new “Tonight Show” promo last week which again reminded us as to how totally unfunny Jay Leno still is.

♣   C.A. MacConnell informed us last week that she is looking for a date. On her blog, she goes into great detail as to the people she’s hooking up with. This is one of the reasons why C.A. and I have never dated. She tells everything she knows (I’m just kidding around—she’s laughing, right?).

♣   Do you know who else is suffering from his recession? Your pet. There is help out there. Kevin Osborne at The Daily Beat filled us in last week about a new organization here in Cincinnati called Cincinnati Pet Food Pantry.

♣   Apparently, there are at least five reasons why living in Cincinnati is better than living in New York City. The Cincinnati Man gave us those five reasons last week, but the one about how Cincy is friendlier than New York? I think most of you know I’m not buying that.

(Photo of Carly Simon from copycat.pe.

Make Him Watch T.V. Sitcoms

This is actually more than a little sad.

Dejuan Burton, who lives in East Walnut Hills, robbed his own mother at gunpoint on Thursday. Burton, who is 28-years-old, was apparently a little too old to still get an allowance, so he got out his gun. Click here to read more about it.

What kind of son would point a gun at his mother? I mean, can you imagine Carol Brady getting robbed at gunpoint by one her kids? Or Clair Huxable? Elyse Keaton?

While in jail, Burton should be made to watch T.V. sitcoms—see how a son should treat his mother.

Hey, that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.

(Photo of Carol Brady found on Google)

Dos and Don’ts While Under the Influence

Why yes, that is me drinking in the photo. Do I look like I’m having a good time?

There’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks, but there are a few dos and don’ts to consider while under the influence.

I wrote about some of them in the Living Out Loud column in CityBeat this week.

One should certainly not drink and drive. You also need to be aware of telephone calls you make while drinking.

You should probably turn off your computer so you can resist the temptation of sending drunken e-mails. Texting can also make you look silly if you’re having a few drinks.

Those are a few things to consider while drinking, but I’ve probably missed some of the dos and don’ts while under the influence. Do you have any to share?

(Photo by Andrew Anderson)

Heavy Questions, Cameron Knight and Altoids Smalls

♦   All right, we’ll get off the overeating stuff, but as a departing shot, here are some “Heavy Questions” that I asked in my CityBeat column some time back. Many of those questions have still gone unanswered. Feel free to answer as many as you like.

♦   I’ve added a new blog to the blogroll. Cameron Knight also works for CityBeat, is damn fine with his camera and I just recently discovered he has his own blog. You know, we gotta help our own.

♦   I have a new favorite mint—Altoids Smalls. I like the peppermint flavor and it’s sugar-free. The tin contains 50 mints. Speaking of the tin, I always feel guilty when I throw it away. It’s kind of a fancy container and I find myself thinking I should keep it and do something with it. It would be a great place to store “joints,” but, of course, smoking pot is against the law.

(Photo from WordPress)

Overeating Becoming a bit of a Theme Here This Week

With the Montgomery Inn promoting their ribs and IHOP giving away free pancakes yesterday, overeating has become a bit of a theme here this week.

I’m I intentionally being mean to people who are overweight? Perhaps that’s my nature. To be mean.

Let’s get away from ribs and pancakes. Today, let’s discuss burgers.

There’s nothing like a good burger—right? And the more meat on that burger the better.

And there needs to be plenty of grease. I mean on a burger, you gotta have grease.

Take a look at these Cincinnati girls enjoying their burgers.

Oh yeah, there’s nothing like eating a burger loaded with grease inside an automobile.

I don’t know about you, but I’m heading to Rally’s!

(Photo from WordPress)

Really, You Didn’t Need Those Pancakes Anyway

Yes, today is National Pancake Day and yes, IHOP was giving away free buttermilk pancakes this morning, but I think I’m doing you a favor by telling you after the fact.

I mean really, do you think you need to get any fatter?

Take comfort in the fact that you can still get a good deal on ribs at Montgomery Inn’s Boathouse.

Now go loosen those pants.

(Photo from boards.ign.com)

Hurry! You Only Have Until Thursday to get Even Fatter!

Once again, Montgomery Inn is celebrating the anniversary of their Boathouse by giving it’s customers a special deal on ribs.

For about twenty bucks, you can eat all the ribs you want—and that includes Saratoga chips!  Click here to make your mouth water.

So haul your big ass and round belly to Montgomery Inn’s Boathouse. You’ve only got until Thursday to get even fatter—and make sure you brag to all your friends about how much you ate. Isn’t that sooooooo Cincinnati?

(Photo from bebo.com)

Late Night Stuff to Think about on this Monday Morning

No, done of this is life changing or even that interesting, but it’s Monday morning so we’ll keep it light and not to anything mind blowing. Actually, we never do that anyway. 

Let’s talk about late night stuff. 

Conan O’Brien is, of course, gone from “The Tonight Show,” and more than likely will show up at FOX in September. In the meantime, it looks like he may be doing a bit of a comeback with some stage shows. I think that’s a great idea. 

Jay Leno will be returning to his old show next month. Promos for his return don’t show any love for Conan.    

And Dave is still Dave—staying put at 11:35pm. 

Maybe we can do a question of the week here.  Maybe we’ve already done this. Maybe I don’t really care.

When Leno comes back next month, will you be watching? Have you already forgotten about Conan? Will you watch him if he goes to FOX?

What about Dave? Will you stick with him? Will you watch something else instead? Will you simply say the hell with all of it and turn off your teevee? 

I know— a lot of questions. Just take your pick. 

(Photo from Gawker)

Steve Martin Lets Jean-Robert Open His New Restaurant in Cincinnati

Steve Martin is a man of many talents. He’s a great comic, wonderful banjo player, a writer, an actor—all that—but how many of you know  he is also a judge here in Cincinnati? Well, he is! 

On Friday, Judge Steve Martin informed Chef Jean-Robert de Cavel that he’s free to open his new restaurant and basically told Martin Wade to take a hike. If you want to learn more about what Steve had to say, you can click here. 

Jean-Robert’s new restaurant will be in the old Buddakhan location on Vine Street downtown. It could be open as early as next month. 

While a date has not yet been set for the opening, rumor has it Judge Steve Martin has agreed to perform and play his banjo on opening night. 

(Photo of Judge Martin found on Google)

Rule #1: Always Take Your Pot with You

On Thursday, the Cincinnati Police responded to a reported shooting in Avondale. When they arrived, they found no one hurt, but got interested in two unoccupied vehicles. 

One of them had 200 pounds of pot in it with a street value of $300,000. Click here to read more about it. 

Would one leave his or her wallet in a car? Would one leave their laptop on the front seat? Would one leave bags full of groceries unattended? 

Rule #1 when it comes to pot: Take it with you. 

(Graphic found on Google)