I used to suffer from road rage—too many idiots on the road who don’t know how to drive—but since I stopped driving three years ago, that went away. Now I left the bus driver get pissed off.
Back in my married days and when my kids were small, I had a temper and would sometimes yell. I have learned to channel those feelings and not go to that place. I haven’t yelled at anybody in years.
Now, in my own age, I feel myself annoyed a lot but I think as a writer, that’s my nature and I’m fine with it. If you read me much at all, you know that often I write what I’m annoyed about.
But lately I have been feeling some anger coming back. Here’s the person who’s causing it. I’m not worried about him reading this as that’s something he’s doesn’t do. Read.
This is a friend I’ve known for a couple years now. He’s kind of hot and cold and I figured out from the beginning he’s “hot” when he wants something from me. With friendships, you have to take the good with the bad, so I’ve mostly put up with it.
With having cataracts and preparing for the surgery, it’s been a bit hard to get around. I don’t think I ever felt stir crazy in my apartment, but I always felt better when friends or family would come over and visit—you know, keep me company.
This friend, the hot and cold one, has said at least four times he was coming over. Each time, I waited and waited, but he never showed up. No reason was ever given.
Last Wednesday, he was supposed to show up again. This was a few days after my surgery and I was now able to be out and about, but I was waiting for him to visit. It was getting late in the day. Finally, I called him. He said he didn’t have a car that day and couldn’t make it.
I could feel my blood pressure rise. He lives two blocks from my apartment building. Why the hell would he need a damn car to go two blocks?
I felt myself getting angry and it was all I could do to keep from hanging up on him. I could feel myself wanting to yell at him and to give him a piece of my mind. I haven’t given someone a piece of that in years.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is I didn’t like that feeling of being angry and being pissed off. I didn’t like the fact it was back in my life.
As far as this friend goes, either I let those feelings go inside me or let the friendship go entirely. I haven’t decided yet. All I know for sure is life is too short to feel rage or anger or be pissed out. I don’t want to ever go back to those feelings again. I’ll take the necessary steps to avoid them.
(Image found on Google)