Not that I’m pushing it, but it won’t be that long until I’ll be 60 years old and at this point in my life, there are some things I probably won’t get around to doing. It’s not a big deal—certainly not regrets. Just a few things that aren’t going to happen.
- Skateboarding is probably out. With a quad cane, it would be difficult and at my age I could break a hip.
- Skydiving probably isn’t in the cards for me either.
- I’m not going to get around to meeting writer John Updike. He’s dead. So is Susan Sontag. Philip Roth isn’t dead but he doesn’t know who the hell I am and I probably don’t have the energy to figure out a way to introduce myself.
- I’m probably too old to get a tattoo.
- I probably won’t get around to having sex with a movie star.
- Chances are I probably will never learn how to make my own sausage.
- I may fall in love again—I mean, who knows—but I probably will not marry again and the idea of living with someone—living in sin (kidding)—doesn’t appeal to me either. Consider me a loner.
- I probably won’t get around to ever owning another television.
- I probably will never see Paris.
- I probably will never own another dog. I love dogs, but they need to be walked and I’m not good at that anymore—re: the quad cane.
- I probably will not learn how to tap dance.
- Becoming a rock star, more than likely, probably won’t happen.
- I probably will never have good handwriting.
- I probably will never have decaf coffee again. I mean, what’s the point of it?
- I never did learn how to fry chicken and probably won’t now. I don’t eat it much anymore.
- I probably will never be any good at playing chess.
OK—enough of this.
Please note that with all I’ve listed here, I used the word probably. One should never say never.
(Image found on Google)