A few of you got on me yesterday for not writing about the Bengals making the playoffs which is fair but keep in mind this has never been a sports blog. Still I know it’s a big deal so today I’m going to try and make up for it.
Despite losing to the Ravens this past Sunday, the Bengals are heading to the playoffs. Yes, you probably already know that. I’m a day late and a dollar short which is usually the case with the Bengals too but they got a little help from their friends on Sunday. Please go to a real sports blog to find out how this all came about.
The last time the Bengals went to the playoffs, I was a young man. Now, I’m not. Yes, in reality, it’s all about me.
In case you’re wondering, yeah, I’ll be watching that playoff game. It will be the first game I’ve watched all season. That’s the kind of fan I am and don’t pretend that you’re not. After so many years of losing, it’s been a bit hard to maintain interest.
And in wrapping this up, here’s the question of the week . . . are the Bengals heading to the Super Bowl?
Done. That’s my sports blog entry for the year.
(Photo from cincyjungle.com)
→ Actor and racist Mel Gibson was back in the news and all over the blogs last week being a racist yet again and making a fool of himself. The Huffington Post is one of several blogs where you can go to hear about Mel’s rants. Is his time up? Oh yeah. Does it make me sad? Oh no.
→ Is it one owl or is it three owls? I’m not going to say, but go to Mock, Paper, Scissors to view a pretty unusual video.
→ Does it sound like fun to get stuck on the Brent Spence Bridge this summer with it being all hot and all? The Cincinnati Nation tells us due to road repair, we should expect lengthy travel delays. Therefore, you can expect me not to go anywhere near that damn bridge.
→ What’s up with the State of Kentucky, Ashley Judd and her breasts? Apparently Kentuckians don’t like Ashley and are exposing her breasts all over the state which in my view isn’t really a bad thing. Go to Jezebel to learn more and, of course, look at breasts.
→ Lindsay Lohan had a bad week last week being sentenced to 90 days in jail. Why has it all gone wrong for her? Could it have something to do with her father who says bad words on teevee? Gawker—or maybe it’s me—hints this could be the case.
→ Let’s wrap this up with something that will warm your heart. 90 beagles that spent their lives being experimented on in a lab in New Jersey have now been liberated. Yep, they became free on the Fourth of July. Go to The Daily Dish and then salute.
(Photo of racist from accesshollywood.com)
→ Last week, there was an internet frenzy about local boy Josh Hutcherson being the new “Spider-Man” in the next film, but no—not gonna happen. The Cincinnati Nation tells us another actor will play the part. Reports are also coming in that another local spider, Roger Ach, was up for the role but demanded too much money.
→ Our forever thoughtful Cincinnati City Council has found a new way to cut the number of people staying in homeless shelters. What do you do? You kick out the beggars. Streetvibes Blog gives us the story. Come the next election, maybe it’s time to “kick” out some members of city council.
→ Cincinnati’s very own golden boy John Boehner had a pretty bad week last week which led to more crying, but cheer up John. Stephen Colbert has come to your defense. Go to Crooks and Liars to get all happy.
→ Is RNC Chairman Michael Steele dumb? Wonkette reports that he thinks the Afghanistan war is bad and, of course, war loving Republicans don’t like this. Wow, I can’t believe it. For once in my life, I’m actually agreeing with Michael Steele.
→ We did a few posts here last week on the evils of marijuana and how our local police force is doing a most excellent job in keeping us safe from this horrible drug, but are they keeping our children safe from nutmeg? I urge our local men and women in blue to go to Gawker and get educated.
→ And finally, because it’s the Fourth of July, many of you tonight will be screwing around with fireworks in your backyard and acting like you know what you’re doing with them while you probably don’t. Do yourself a favor and go to The Cincinnati Man and get some safety tips on how not to blow yourself up.
(Image from talesfromthefirehouse.com)
→ Do you have a favorite Woody Allen movie? I have two—“Annie Hall” and “Manhattan.” Ever wonder what are Woody’s favorites? The answer may surprise you. Go to Gawker to find out.
→ Speaking of movies, there’s a new actress on the Hollywood scene. Some are saying she’s the new Meryl Streep, and here’s the most shocking news of all: it’s that idiot Michele Bachman. Really. Go to Wonkette to get grossed out.
→ With high unemployment and with benefits and extensions running out, this should be no surprise that Republicans hate the unemployed. Crooks and Liars provides us with a video clip of Rachel Maddow explaining this. I think we should return all this hate and vote these unfeeling politicians out of office, but you know how negative I can be.
→ I can’t think of anything or anybody that I like at Fox News, but Shep Smith isn’t too bad. Let’s go to The Huffington Post and watch him give it to an asshole defending BP Oil over that oil spill.
→ It goes without saying that the oil spill is wrecking wildlife. Here’s an example: did you know that BP is now burning sea turtles alive? Focal Point gives us the details.
→ Let’s wrap it up with something positive. If you’re not checking out the new Covington USA blog, you’re missing out on something that’s crisp and clever. It provides Covington news and national news, often times gives us a history of Covington and you can comment on what you read and see on a feed to Facebook. Yes, it’s something new and different and that’s why it’s in Covington and not in Cincinnati. We don’t like new and different here.
(Photo from photobucket.com)
→ My friend C.A. MacConnell loves horses and on her blog last week wrote a post trying to see things from a horse’s point of view. It was pretty interesting, but really, C.A., you could have saved yourself some time. Whenever I want to know what a horse is thinking, I watch reruns of Mr. Ed. Not only do you know what he’s thinking, He actually tells you!
→ Actor John Goodman has lost a lot of weight. The Huffington Post gives us the before and after photos. This is all well and good but the fact is John has lost a bunch of weight before only to put it back on. This will probably sound negative but this time next year, he’ll probably be bigger than ever. Yeah, that does sound negative doesn’t it?
→ The arts district in Covington is having a few problems. Covington USA tells us the district is trying to get more retail shops and restaurants in the area. Suggestion: move that Waffle House in Covington to the arts district. Whenever I look at art, I always get hungry for waffles and I’m sure you do too. I also get hungry for fried chicken, so put in a KFC too.
→ We’re all trying to save money these days and the folks at Mock, Paper, Scissors suggest a way to save on our water bill. Not a bad suggestion, but there are some things I don’t feel like doing with other people.
→ I guess it’s possible that Sarah Palin might have had a boob job and Jezebel makes a suggestion that she has but it seems like such a waste of money. I mean Sarah’s already a boob job.
→ And in closing, Ohio’s very own total embarrassment John Boehner is now backtracking on this statement that taxpayers should pay for the oil spill cleanup. Crooks and Liars fills us in. I can’t help but wonder if Ohio taxpayers are paying for Boehner’s silly fake suntan, but I’m basically lazy and don’t feel like checking it out.
(Photo from tvcrazy.net)
→ Debrahlee Lorenzana was just your typical banker working in New York at Citigroup until she was fired last week. The reason? She was too hot. Gawker gives us the details. While I don’t like the word “hot,” I’m telling a bit of a lie when I say Lorenzana is a typical banker. That’s her in the photo up above. Does she look typical to you? No, not really. Come to Cincinnati, Debrahlee. Whatever bank you go to, I’ll move all my millions my checking account there.
→ There’s a new blog in town, or I should say across the river. The people who bring you The Cincinnati Nation and other websites across the country have started a new one called Covington USA. You know where Covington is. That’s where we go when we can’t find anything to do in Cincinnati.
→ Just when I think Sarah Palin can’t get any dumber, she proves me wrong. She’s blaming the BP oil spill on environmentalists. Wonkette fills us in. At least she’s not blaming it on those poor pelicans covered in oil.
→ Do you have any desire to see a cartoon horse ejaculate? I don’t, but if you do, go to The Huffington Post.
→ Could it be true that WLW’s Bill Cunningham and Mike McConnell might be leaving that radio station to head to Chicago? The Cincinnati Man thinks it’s going to happen. My reaction: hey guys, have a great time there. I mean, whenever I make the mistake and try to listen to you guys, it’s like going back to 1980. You ever change!
→ And in wrapping this sucker up, let’s leave Cincinnati for a few minutes and go to Iceland. We’re invited to a party! Go to Daily Dish to get your free ticket.
(Photo of Debrahlee Lorenzana from sevensidedcube.com)
→ American Idol is over for another season and Simon Cowell is gone and there was a love fest for him on Wednesday night—or so I’m told as I didn’t watch it. Lee Dewyze won the thing and Ohio’s own Crystal Bowersox came in second which doesn’t really matter as she also gets a big record deal. USA Today fills us in on this. I have a question. How come the runner-ups on this show often do better than the person who wins? Maybe that’s why I just can’t get into it.
→ The Taste of Cincinnati continues today through tomorrow downtown and while I was all negative this past week about it, Mike Breen at The Daily Beat puts a positive spin on the music, comedy and dance that’s taking part, so that’s why I’m sharing.
→ Bill Clinton is watching his calorie count these days and it’s turning him into a strange old woman. Wonkette tells us why.
→ I sometimes wonder if Jean-Robert will ever open his new restaurant at 713 Vine Street downtown. The Cincinnati Nation tells us there is yet another delay. Whenever I walk by the place, there is never a worker in sight, like the building isn’t preparing for any kind of opening soon. Whatever. We still got Arby’s to go to.
→ When it comes to marijuana in Cincinnati, there seems to be a double standard. Whites use it, blacks get arrested—or at least that’s what Eli Braun thinks at The Streetvibes Blog.
→ Pigs fly in Cincinnati, but in Texas, they dive. Don’t believe me? Go to The Daily Dish to discover how sincere I am.
→ And on a sad note, child actor Gary Coleman has passed away at the age of 42. I don’t know why so many child actors have such bad adult lives, but Gawker takes the high road and looks back at Coleman at the early, funny years.
(Photo of Crystal Bowersox from FOX)
→ And I thought Sarah Palin was an idiot. I admit I haven’t been paying much attention to Rand Paul, the newly nominated Republican candidate for the senate in Kentucky, but that needs to change. His views on civil rights would set this country back 40 years. Rachel Maddow has an interesting take on Paul. Go to Crooks and Liars to get to the video.
→ I don’t think Cincinnati is really a baseball town anymore and not even a football town—but maybe a hockey town? The Cincinnati Nation reports on the Cyclones winning season.
→ If you’ve read me over the years, you know I’ve had a few negative thoughts on Cincinnati. Maybe being negative is just my nature so let me say right now that there are a lot of great things about this city and now, finally, we’re going to get a little help to make things even better. The Cincinnati Man reports that Chuck Norris is coming in to save our town.
→ Sadly, I’m beginning to think one of our best local blogs here has folded. I think it’s time to say goodbye to The Daily Bellwether who hasn’t had an update since March 24.
→ What does one do when one cheats on Sandra Bullock—one of America’s sweethearts? You go on the teevee and cry about it. Go to Gawker to see an emotional Jesse James. Sorry, Jesse, you’re still a lying, cheating asshole.
→ Another one of America’s sweethearts, Jennifer Aniston, likes to pose almost nude for a lot of magazine covers which The Huffington Post has taken notice of. They want to know which one of these covers is your favorite. It seems rather silly to me, but, of course, I looked at every single one of them.
(Photo of Rand Paul from Woodpress)
→ Well, Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there—and if some of you kids haven’t figured out what to do for mom yet, last week Gawker provided a last minute gift guide. Now, of course, it’s really last minute but you can always send her an e-card over the internet. That will show her you care enough to send only the very best.
→ In news that rocked my world last week, The Los Angeles Times reported that Dr. Phil let Oprah shave off his mustache. Kidding, of course. It didn’t rock my world at all, but at least it stopped this “doctor” from giving out bad advice—at least for a few minutes.
→ And how about them Reds? The Cincinnati Nation continues to give us updates on their ups and downs this season which is kind of like last season and the season before that and the season before that and—well, you get the idea. I wouldn’t be thinking World Series just yet.
→ Last week, Jezebel reported that Lindsay Lohan is still plugging away at her music career which is nice since she no longer has an acting career.
→ Our crybaby congressman here in Ohio, John Boehner, cried again last week. Wonkette fills us in. Isn’t it nice to have a republican congressman so in touch with his emotions? No, not really. I think his tears are as false as his suntan.
→ Last week, the news here in the US was full of car bombs, oil spills and Wall Street gains and losses. I hate talking about this stuff, so I’ll let Bill Maher at The Huffington Post do it.
(Image from tinypic.com)
→ I really haven’t followed The Cincinnati Reds in years but I do check in at The Cincinnati Nation on occasion to see how they’re doing. Last week, I was sitting in a bar in Newport when another customer started complaining about their current losing record. In a rare attempt to be positive, I stated that the season is still early after which this other customer gave me a list of reasons why the season is already over. Lesson learned? I’ll just stay my usual negative self.
→ What do you think of Donny Deutsch getting yanked from MSNBC last week for having an opinion on Keith Olbermann? Taylor Marsh has an opinion too.
→ Did you miss journalist Lindsay Beyerstein trying on a lot of dresses last week in Brooklyn? Fear not. Let The Big Think get you up-to-date.
→ Our friend C.A. MacConnell recently moved to new digs in the Clifton area and now she’s looking for a roommate. After reading her classified ad on her blog last week, I felt better about myself. I mean—and I thought I was high maintenance?
→ Hold on to your seat. The Huffington Post informed us last week about Jon Gosselin’s new career plans. Now, hold on to your wallet. More than likely he’ll be knocking on your door trying to sell you Amway products.
→ And just when I thought true investigative journalism was dead in this country, my spirit was renewed last week. Let’s go to Gawker to find out if Kate Hudson now has fake breasts.
(Photo from WordPress)