→ And I thought Sarah Palin was an idiot. I admit I haven’t been paying much attention to Rand Paul, the newly nominated Republican candidate for the senate in Kentucky, but that needs to change. His views on civil rights would set this country back 40 years. Rachel Maddow has an interesting take on Paul. Go to Crooks and Liars to get to the video.
→ I don’t think Cincinnati is really a baseball town anymore and not even a football town—but maybe a hockey town? The Cincinnati Nation reports on the Cyclones winning season.
→ If you’ve read me over the years, you know I’ve had a few negative thoughts on Cincinnati. Maybe being negative is just my nature so let me say right now that there are a lot of great things about this city and now, finally, we’re going to get a little help to make things even better. The Cincinnati Man reports that Chuck Norris is coming in to save our town.
→ Sadly, I’m beginning to think one of our best local blogs here has folded. I think it’s time to say goodbye to The Daily Bellwether who hasn’t had an update since March 24.
→ What does one do when one cheats on Sandra Bullock—one of America’s sweethearts? You go on the teevee and cry about it. Go to Gawker to see an emotional Jesse James. Sorry, Jesse, you’re still a lying, cheating asshole.
→ Another one of America’s sweethearts, Jennifer Aniston, likes to pose almost nude for a lot of magazine covers which The Huffington Post has taken notice of. They want to know which one of these covers is your favorite. It seems rather silly to me, but, of course, I looked at every single one of them.
(Photo of Rand Paul from Woodpress)
→ Well, Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there—and if some of you kids haven’t figured out what to do for mom yet, last week Gawker provided a last minute gift guide. Now, of course, it’s really last minute but you can always send her an e-card over the internet. That will show her you care enough to send only the very best.
→ In news that rocked my world last week, The Los Angeles Times reported that Dr. Phil let Oprah shave off his mustache. Kidding, of course. It didn’t rock my world at all, but at least it stopped this “doctor” from giving out bad advice—at least for a few minutes.
→ And how about them Reds? The Cincinnati Nation continues to give us updates on their ups and downs this season which is kind of like last season and the season before that and the season before that and—well, you get the idea. I wouldn’t be thinking World Series just yet.
→ Last week, Jezebel reported that Lindsay Lohan is still plugging away at her music career which is nice since she no longer has an acting career.
→ Our crybaby congressman here in Ohio, John Boehner, cried again last week. Wonkette fills us in. Isn’t it nice to have a republican congressman so in touch with his emotions? No, not really. I think his tears are as false as his suntan.
→ Last week, the news here in the US was full of car bombs, oil spills and Wall Street gains and losses. I hate talking about this stuff, so I’ll let Bill Maher at The Huffington Post do it.
(Image from tinypic.com)
→ I really haven’t followed The Cincinnati Reds in years but I do check in at The Cincinnati Nation on occasion to see how they’re doing. Last week, I was sitting in a bar in Newport when another customer started complaining about their current losing record. In a rare attempt to be positive, I stated that the season is still early after which this other customer gave me a list of reasons why the season is already over. Lesson learned? I’ll just stay my usual negative self.
→ What do you think of Donny Deutsch getting yanked from MSNBC last week for having an opinion on Keith Olbermann? Taylor Marsh has an opinion too.
→ Did you miss journalist Lindsay Beyerstein trying on a lot of dresses last week in Brooklyn? Fear not. Let The Big Think get you up-to-date.
→ Our friend C.A. MacConnell recently moved to new digs in the Clifton area and now she’s looking for a roommate. After reading her classified ad on her blog last week, I felt better about myself. I mean—and I thought I was high maintenance?
→ Hold on to your seat. The Huffington Post informed us last week about Jon Gosselin’s new career plans. Now, hold on to your wallet. More than likely he’ll be knocking on your door trying to sell you Amway products.
→ And just when I thought true investigative journalism was dead in this country, my spirit was renewed last week. Let’s go to Gawker to find out if Kate Hudson now has fake breasts.
(Photo from WordPress)
→ Probably the first thing you thought of this morning as you got out of bed is who has the best behind in Hollywood? Well, apparently you missed this on The Huffington Post last week. Always leave it to them to ask those hard-hitting questions. Of course it’s all rather silly, but for the record, Halle Berry gets my vote.
→ While we’re discussing things that don’t really matter, find out what happened last week with Larry King, Paris Hilton, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and other famous people by going to Gawker. At least they’re doing us the favor of putting all this stupid stuff in one post.
→ Gregory Flannery at the Streetvibes Blog told us last week that Ohio is a slave market. Ohio is one of only 8 states that have not enacted a law against human trafficking. Sure, that’s going to be a bit shocking to those who don’t live here but for those of us who do, it’s kind of typical. I mean the word progressive isn’t even listed in dictionaries in Ohio. It’s considered a “Bad word.”
→ Tucker Carlson: your thoughts? Crooks and Liars informed us last week that he thinks Sarah Palin is the leader of the Tea Party movement by default. Whatever, Tucker. Since losing your bow tie, you’ve become even more boring.
→ It looks like Cincinnati will soon become a beer town again. The Cincinnati Nation picked up a stroy last week from the Business Courier reporting that Christian Moerlein will start making beer in Over-the-Rhine early next year. I think that’s great. Let’s become famous for this again instead of all that damn chili.
→ And in wrapping this up, the Midwest Teen Sex Show told us last week that sex is more fun when you share. I can’t argue with that—but some get to share their sex more than others, know what I’m saying? If any of you out there want to “share,” let me know.
(Photo of woman’s ass—not Halle Berry’s—found on Google)
→ In May of 2008, Shania Twain’s idiot husband and record producer Mutt Lange cheated on her and now they’re divorced. Since then, Shania has been in a “Very deep, dark slump.” How does one get out of this frame of mind? Well for Shania, it’s getting her own reality show. People told us last week that she’ll be doing this show on Oprah’s new cable network and I think this is great and I’m happy for Shania, but me and others have also been in a deep, dark slump over the years and Oprah didn’t offer us a teevee show. Is this really fair to us? We’ll try not to be bitter.
→ We know Cincinnati is a chili town—god do we ever—but the bigger question might be is Cincinnati a hockey town? The Cincinnati Nation told us last week that might be the case. My guess is that cheese coneys are being served during the games.
→ Last week, more evidence came to light that the current Pope doesn’t really care about little kids being raped by priests. Gawker provides us with the sickening details.
→ I think spring is truly here in Cincinnati as I’m hearing and seeing those geese fly over to a nearby lake here in Westwood. Want to know some fun facts about geese? Cameron Knight ran a post last week that gave me a quick education.
→ How do I say this in a polite kind of way? Republican Newt Gingrich is fat. President Obama is not and because he’s not fat, Newt hates our president—or at least that’s what Wonkette told us last week.
→ So Obama isn’t fat and he also appears to be getting a backbone. Crooks and Liars informed us last week that our President doesn’t think Sarah Palin is “Much of an expert on nuclear issues.” Really, Mr. President, that’s a given. The only thing Palin is an expert at is writing notes all over her hands.
(Photo of Shania from listar.com)
→ It should surprise no one that I think Sarah Palin is sort of dumb and I always suspected that she would sound even dumber when she talks about meat. Wonkette confirmed this for me last week.
→ Have you forgiven Tiger Woods for screwing around on his wife? Many have not. Last week, Gawker informed us that even his kindergarten teacher hates him or maybe she’s upset that Tiger never got around to “doing” her. Hey, I’m just saying. . .
→ TeeVee anchors here in Cincinnati don’t make a lot of money. The Cincinnati Nation told us last week that many only make $40,000 a year. That explains why Rob Braun keeps calling me trying to get me to buy Amway products from him.
→ During the month of April, Jami Attenberg at Whatever-Whenever is “couch-surfing” in New York. I’m not sure what this is about, but forget New York, Jami. Come to Cincinnati. You can surf on my couch and I’ll even feed you some Cincinnati chili. Really, it won’t make you too sick.
→ Speaking of sick, C.A. MacConnell isn’t feeling well. What does she do during her downtime? No doubt, Cincinnati chili is involved.
→ And finally, last week, The Huffington Post reported that even more evidence has surfaced showing that Pope Benedict covered up for pedophile priests before becoming Pope—you know—anything to protect the Catholic church rather than protecting those little boys who were being raped. Happy Easter to you, sir. Maybe I’ll say a prayer for you.
(Photo from thesuperficial.com)
♣ We, as a society in general, truly enjoy it when famous people—or maybe I should say famous women—have wardrobe malfunctions. Last week, The Huffington Post filled us in on how Katherine Heigl exposed one of her breast at an awards show. Yes, I admit that I went to the post to see if it actually happened. Will you?
♣ It’s true. Rock ‘n’ Roll hates jelly donuts. Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Dish shows us why.
♣ The Democrats think they have enough votes to get that health care bill passed. The Cincinnati Nation filled us in on this yesterday. I’m still putting off my rant when it comes to this but I promise you, it’s coming. I’m not happy, but then again, am I ever happy?
♣ Perhaps working at The Cincinnati Enquirer means always having to say you’re sorry. Last week, Kevin Osborne at The Daily Beat detailed their latest apology.
♣ Sarah Palin is going bald, but what does this have to do with Sam Donaldson? Wonkette sorted through this muck last week.
♣ And finally, everybody is different. Really, they are. If C.A. MacConnell wants to go to a coffeehouse to belch, who the hell I am to judge her?
(Photo of Katherine Heigl from WordPress)